What is a body image revolutionary anyway?
I reckon it’s someone, maybe like you, who has had *enough* of the rubbish about how we should look, the size we should be, blah blah blah…. Yes I know it’s not eloquent but all that stuff is boring, one-dimensional descriptions of women, and only designed to part us from our self-esteem, our power, and our money.
So what do you think a body image revolutionary is? Share by leaving a comment below… then grab of of these images to put on your blog, facebook, or myspace page, and link it back here…. we’re ALL part of the change we need!
I love my body – at 44yoa, have never felt more comfortable in it and I’m certainly not at my fittest or (socially defined) slimmest. I simply love what it does, what it’s capable of and how it lets me know how I’m travelling in life. Can’t wait to hear Alexandra Pope’s talk on menstruation. So so important for women of all ages. Martina/x
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Sandy Reply:
July 17th, 2010 at 8:44 am
Martina, Alexandra is awesome, and I think you’ll also appreciate Lisa Sarasohn and her belly work – fabulous ” what’s next” after body hate stuff – I hpe you enjoy the calls
Sandy
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I’ve been a revolutionary since the early 90′s when I joined a mailing list called The Zoftig Zone. Zoftig, or Zaftig is a Yiddish word for a larger, more voluptuous body.
Having spoken to many of the hundreds of women on that list, I realised that although many of them accepted and were even happy with their size, some were not. Without exception these were talented, wonderful women but totally disabled emotionally by self-hatred and I felt that a book which showed people how to go from that to pride and contentment, would be not only useful but would help readers reach their full potential in whatever role they had chosen in life.
If you are confident about yourself, you are more effective in the world.
I had learned long before, that dieting, far from making people thinner and healthier, actually did untold harm and made people fatter but I needed to do the research.
Professor Dale Atrens of Sydney University was my mentor and he gave me lots of encouragement as well as pointer to other professionals who could give me details of what they had discovered about our bodies and how they react to voluntary starvation (usually called dieting).
The result was ‘Largely Happy’ published in 2000 by David Bateman Ltd (Auckland).
Four years later, realising fat kids were suffering at the hands of mis-informed bigots and those who believed the lies of the diet industry, I wrote, ‘Health Kids, Happy Kids’ (Random House) which shows parents how to help their kids see themselves as wonderful humans with a brilliant future.
I’m a fat lady and proud of myself (my body is me) and all I have achieved. I am living proof of the anomaly discovered decades ago that if a woman is deprived of food (either in famine or dieting) her offspring are changed genetically so that they put on weight faster, on less food, when they are born. THIS is one of the major reasons we are seeing so many fatter children.
This is passed down in families and is cumulative, in other words, if two young people, whose mothers have been dieters, marry and have kids of their own, they double the tendency of their children to gain weight (even triple that if the young Mum also diets).
And whatever Weight Watchers tell you about being concerned for your health (if they were, they would target everyone, not just fat people) they have actually caused this knowingly.
Could you trust people who quite deliberately set out to ruin your health – and make you pay for that “privilege”?
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Sandy Reply:
July 17th, 2010 at 8:42 am
Hi Lynda – there is some new research about the children of dieting mothers being very much more likely to have bodies which are much more frugal with food – as you say, that’s the “obesity epidemic” we’re seeing, though I also have concerns about certain plastics etc… I think it’s very complex, though the message of ” fat = bad” certainly makes it sound very simple!
I hope you enjoy the series, and I look forward to hearing you on the calls
Sandy
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I have never been what anyone would consider overweight, but at age 41, 17 years after having 2 sons via c-section, my body is — shall we say — shifting. My husband and I are in the process of trying to adopt 2 baby girls and I would love to have a healthy view of myself (body and otherwise), not only for myself, but also if I get the awesome chance to raise these beautiful girls! I would love to start things off right with them and be able to be an example of how to be comfortable with yourself while taking care of yourself.
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Sandy Reply:
July 17th, 2010 at 8:37 pm
Hello Julie – having a mommy who loves herself would be the most wonderful gift to give to the beautiful little girls coming to you
I think that you’ll get powerful support and new ideas on this series, to help you get there 
Look forward to hearing from you on the call 
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I used to be pretty ok with my body. That is, until my husband told me how he is not attracted to me any more, and is unhappy in marriage, because of my size. How does a person deal with that? I want to have a good marriage and be happy.
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Jill Reply:
July 18th, 2010 at 8:35 pm
Jess,
I can’t really give you advice about your marriage–but I hope you take good care of yourself and get back to feeling ok about your body. Good luck to you.
Best,
Jill Zimmerman Rutledge
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CHINNU Reply:
October 10th, 2010 at 3:46 pm
TRY TO CONVINCE UR HUBBY,TELL HIM DAT THE PICTURES OF NUDE BODY R NOT REAL, ASK HIM TO VISIT THE WEBSITE FIFTY NUDE WOMEN…..
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Sandy Reply:
October 11th, 2010 at 3:41 am
Chinnu, online pornography can be a huge problem in marriage, it’s absolutely possible to become addicted to pornography. I’m sorry you have this problem, it can be devastating to a woman’s self-esteem when her husband uses pornography extensively; men don’t get that. The prevalence of pornography in our culture damages everyone – There’s an interesting report at http://www.winst.org/family_marriage_and_democracy/WI_SocialCosts.pdf. We aren’t dealing with pornography in this series, because the two speakers I wanted to have speaking about it weren’t available, hopefully in the next series! Meanwhile I think there will be plenty for you to listen in to, that may help improve how you’re feeling now….
Great job on the series.
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Sandy Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 6:11 am
Thanks Fabiola, I hope you get just what you want from all the calls
~Sandy
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You bet I’m a Body Image Revolutionary!
Everything changed when I got my first digital camera. It was a gift, and it came with a tripod. Alone in my apartment one afternoon, I decided to look at myself – see myself as I actually was. I pulled the blinds and stripped down to my cheap polyester bra and teal cotton granny-panties. I slipped on my black satin special occasion pumps, then erected the tripod at the end of the hallway that led from the front door. Pressing the camera button for a ten-second delay, I hustled to the opposite end of the hall and stood, hands-on-hips, letting the camera’s flash shower me in white. I returned to the camera and reached for it, tentatively. I looked in the viewer.
Yep, I sure was fat. And at the same time, something about my body pleased me – the milky fullness, the inviting topography of its curves. So I set the timer again, this time to take my picture as I sashayed away from the camera, capturing me in movement.
I was stunned by how sexy I looked. I’m talking drop-dead bombshell sexy. The kind of sexy that makes sailors in movie musicals spin 180 degrees on their heels and whistle, white caps comically askew or twisted in their hands.
There was a line to my body like an elongated “S” that riveted me. And I liked the way one of my ass cheeks cocked upwards as I threw my leg forward. Like a wry smile, or the cheerful buttocks in the old Underalls commercial that made a cute staccato xylophone sound with each side-to-side wag.
I liked these pictures. I liked the body in them.
Now I understand why every lover I ever had couldn’t resist tucking their hands into the warm, baby-smooth pockets of skin on either side of my pudendum, just under the fold of my overhanging belly. I understand the passionate abandon with which one man took my left leg into both arms as he knelt before my reclining body and kissed the leg’s thickness, stroked it wildly from tree-trunk calf to thunder-thigh, his eyelids half-lowered in a state of near-madness, overcome, a stream of pleasing filth dripping from his slack lips. I no longer discount the lovers who reveled in the rolling cashmere expanse of my ass as having had “something wrong” with them.
Do people view fat women as unsexy because it’s what they’ve been taught since birth? And are they eating that opinion obediently off a spoon like a dozy infant in a high chair?
We look at fat women and are conditioned to think their thick limbs and juicy middles are putrid. But these same features fail to disgust us in other contexts.
We bite into a plump and succulent fruit with relish.
We put the corpulent plaster bodies of cherubs on display in our gardens, on our bedspreads in one-dimensional brushed cotton and on glossy paper we frame and hang in our powder rooms.
Every fleshy newborn baby inspires cooing and cuddling. We can’t resist fondling their soft, stout and unshapely limbs, tickling their pudgy bellies and nuzzling their swollen apple cheeks.
Every time I see a dog show on TV, I’m struck by how fervently we adore our fat little breeds of dogs: the endearing rotundity of lumbering bulldogs and chubby pugs, the sad heavy-lidded eyes and loose sagging skin of the sweet shar-pei. (Ironically, the fat breeds are among the most popular in status-conscious/body-conscious human circles.) We derive joy from the appearance of these creatures. We can’t resist reaching out for them, encircling their barrel bodies with affectionate hands.
We survey lush landscapes with variations not dissimilar to an “imperfect” female body with absolute pleasure — say, an expanse of Irish countryside with grassy rolling hills, and clusters of boulders and sudden valleys, gullies and ridges and bald patches. Do these wide swaths of earth nauseate us? Is it really so much uglier when it’s made of flesh instead of soil?
- Kim Brittingham
Author of “Read My Hips: How I Learned to Love My Body, Ditch Dieting and Live Large”, coming in 2011 from Crown/Random House
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Wow, Kim!! Thanks for that!
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Kim that’s gorgeous, very sensual! Thanks for sharing here – perhaps we could connect for a future project? ~Sandy
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Kim Brittingham Reply:
September 14th, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Would love to Sandy, thanks!
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Yes! I am Body Revolutionary. I am “plus-sized”, and I work in a gym. I exercise & eat “right” most of the time. But then are the times when my brain shuts off and I graze through kitchen. So I still need a lot of work to do myself.
I think am successful with my clients for two reasons: 1 – they are seeing their desired results, and 2- I understand what it’s like to be overweight & can address their issues sincerely. I understand the fear & embarrassment that sometimes follows us to the gym, where it seems like we are the biggest ones in the room. I don’t measure success by what gets done in the gym. I measure their success by what they can do outside. When someone tells me she can walk up the stairs without sucking wind, it’s a win; when she can play on the floor with her kids or grandkids without her knees aching, it’s a win.
I look forward to hearing the rest of the lectures on my iPod, while I’m on the treadmill!
Deb
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Sandy Reply:
July 29th, 2010 at 8:57 pm
Deb, thank you for this post! I LOVE that you’re creating a safe space and a great example of what’s possible, for women of all shapes and sizes to take care of their bodies!
I think one reason I work so well in this arena is for a similar reason – I have done the yoyo dieting, the exercise programs blah blah blah – and I’ve had all the feelings that go along with that. Whereas a person who’s never done a diet, or has done one, lost the 5 pounds, and thinks they understand what it’s like to be a dieter, has difficulty getting into the mind space with the person who is struggling. Theory is all very well, but experience is the greatest teacher. It makes the hugest difference when working with a person, when they KNOW you know, and can trust you, and relax, and just get on with the learning and getting the changes they want. I can understand that you would have had to put up with a lot of negative responses to you, and I really applaud you for doing what you’re doing. GOOD ON YOU!!
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Where do you listen free?
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Sandy Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 12:48 pm
Mamie, the free series ended at the end of July. The next series begins in October, please register above and we’ll email you when it’s beginning.
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You bet I am Body Image Revolutionary! I grew up in a world where tooth pick thin was where you needed to be. I was a ballet dancer starting at age 5. So you can imagine the ups and downs I went through when the outside world had one expectation of what your weight should be and ballet dancers had another. It wasn’t until I got married and had my first child that I really felt comfortable with my body. Now I am a 40yr old mom to three girls. I let my girls know that their body is their body and they should never let anyone tell them “what size is the in size”. I let them know what I went through and told them to never let anyone tell them anything to make them uncomfortable with their bodies. If they do then they really are not a friend to them. I tell my girls be themselves and never let anyone change them because they are perfect as they are. Ok so I am biased but still they really are. :0)
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Sandy Reply:
October 3rd, 2010 at 10:45 pm
Tara – oh it’s a hard road, those teenage years, especially with the conflicting messages. I know a couple of young dances who’ve developed eating disorders. The message you’re giving your girls is such a powerful one and in the long run, more powerful than the thousands of ads – but it can be a long run, I know it was for me
It’s a real consciousness shift though, and not everyone is willing to make it… but every woman like you who is willing to speak about their own experiences and *that* they got through it to peace, is pushing us closer to the tipping point! Thanks for sharing your story, I hope you’ll listen in to series 2, starting October 21 
~Sandy
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Here are two links you might like to follow up: one is about a nation wide US campaign designed to education people against fat talk
The other is a supportive page on Facebook – same subject.
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2025345,00.html?hpt=T2
http://www.facebook.com/FatTalkFree?v=wall
I should also like to add that if you agree with the idea that we should not indulge in ‘fat talk’ then make your feelings known to those who manufacture and sell products labelled “guilt-free” this only supports the idea that we should be afraid of food.
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Sandy Reply:
October 18th, 2010 at 11:45 pm
Thanks LInda
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